Virtudyne’s Story

ROTFLMAO!

And, in case anyone is wondering, I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE WRITING OF THIS. N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

SAO PAULO, Brazil (Reuters) - The Brazilian government will distribute 25 million free condoms to promote safe sex during the country’s Carnival holidays, the Health Ministry said Monday.

The condoms, provided under the government’s acclaimed anti-AIDS program, will be given out at health clinics and in sites like public squares and dances.

“It’s that time of year when we boost distribution because of the increase in demand,” an official from the Health Ministry’s anti-AIDS program said.

Carnival kicks off across the nation on February 25, heralding several days of parades, parties, revelry and, for some people, sexual abandon. The Rio de Janeiro carnival is the best known worldwide but every big city has its own celebrations.

The Health Ministry said the purpose of the handout was to prevent the spread of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. Last year, it announced a plan to distribute more than 1 billion free condoms nationwide in 2006.

The Roman Catholic Church in Brazil — the world’s largest Catholic country — routinely denounces such programs as encouraging sex and contravening its stand against contraception.

More random stupidity gleaned from Yahoo News. -m

ORLANDO, Fla. - An alleged burglar was rescued Thursday after he got stuck overnight in the oven vent of the convenience store he was trying to rob, the fire department said.

Investigators said Lonnie Shields, 37, climbed into a small vent on the roof of the New City Mart at about 2 a.m. and wasn’t found until store employees arrived at about 8 a.m.

Shields, who faces charges of burglary of a structure, was treated at a nearby hospital and booked into Orange County Jail on $1,000 bond.

“He was banged up and crunched up and uncomfortable from being in that pipe for about six hours,” Orlando fire chief Greg Hoggatt said.
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DYER, Ind. - A Roman Catholic church rectory is undergoing more than $100,000 in renovations because of damage caused by more than 13 years of neglect and accumulated animal waste, the church’s pastor said.

The Rev. Terry Steffens said in a letter to parishioners that when he arrived at St. Joseph Church in July, he discovered severe damage to the rectory and has been living at a rectory of a church in nearby Schererville.

The letter said Bishop Dale Melczek had advised Steffens to have the rectory in Dyer, 10 miles southwest of Gary, fumigated before he moved in.

The person hired to clean the rectory over a six-week period told Steffens he had become sick to his stomach from cleaning one of the rectory’s rooms that was heavily saturated with feces from dogs, rabbits, hamsters and guinea pigs.

The Associated Press left a message seeking comment Wednesday for Steffens at his office. He told The Times of Munster on Tuesday he had been advised not to talk about the situation.

The AP also left a message Wednesday for the Rev. Mark Pavlina, the previous pastor at St. Joseph.